Older Hate Mail!

Older Hate Mail!

The Hate Mail section started because some dipshits on the Internet didn't want me advertising ADAM WEST on the Web. I decided to post those irreverent messages for fun. Well, that opened up a whole new can of caca because now everybody wants to take a potshot at me or the band. Well, go the fuck ahead! That being said, the most recent offerings are at the other Hate Mail page. "You want hate? I'll give you ten-fold HATE!"

Wanna take a shot at Jake Starr or the band? E-mail your hate to
adamwest@fandangorecs.com

Subject - you guys suck
From: SWeir2@aol.com
all i know is that when i need a good laugh i go to the asylum to see you losers play. james should stick with his other band instead of wasting time with these glamour fags. why would anyone change thier name to jake starr, unles they were blatant homosexuals?

Vempyre wrote:
Adam west BLOWS! Go to Misfits newsgroup. Did i anyone ask about Awest gigs? NO! So you shouldn't go posting it in a Danzig newsgroup ok? Danzig is real talented music yours . . . well, is not.
Also, its a shame you have to keep covering peoples songs because you cant write your own stuff. I live around the philly area and i hope our bands don't ever cross paths Mr. Starr or it will be Emperor meets Deicide all over again. sorry i forgot you dont like good music so you wouldn't know of them.
My band has real talent, we are probably going to tour with Cannibal Corpse.
We will probably be signed to Relapse or Metal Blade--real band labels--and I would love to suck your dick, then bite it off. Im not a badass over the computer, I am more NICE over the compter, i suggest you drop it now because I was serious. You don't know what your dealing with Starr. End of discussion. Dont reply.

Roger Baird wrote:
Have I mentioned your an idiot? Just because one band releases records doesn't stop another from doing it. THERE IS NO DC SCENE! Name one place everybody knows each other and the hang out and do neat stuff together musically! Hell, dischord can't even manage that. so shut up already you whiny little shit.

Ren wrote:
kiss Jake Starr eh? . . . are you worth cancelling a trip to Ohio? that's what I thought.

Anonymous wrote:
Subject: adam west is soooooo cool!
i found yr CD in the cut out bin at the gay bookstore! it rules!

Now kids, we have a special two-parter:
This little war started when a reviewer accused me (Jake) of having disrespect for the club and the audience by purposely spilling two glasses of water on stage. Uh, yeh. how punk rock of me? I guess there's no such thing as an accident. As you can read below, the reviewer decided I was scum and would not give me the benefit of the doubt.

Jake Starr responded:
uh, excuse me, but spilling the cups of water was an accident; and they did not go on the monitors, just on the stage itself. if you've ever looked at the stage, you'd see cords and wires snaked everywhere and if you saw our whole set, you saw me trip at least three times. i meant no disrespect to the club nor the audience. in fact, I apologized to the soundman afterwards. he expressed no problem. In fact, he loved the band. i would have appreciated it if you had asked me about the event or at least introduced yourself at the show before writing such a scathing review.

then Leatrice wrote:
uh excuse me but i was there and i saw what i saw, and for your information i have been on the stage many times--vaccuuming it, as well as announcing bands. I think the sound man that night was Rob and he does like your band very much. I spoke with him too and he was looking at it from the point of view of it didn't matter because no damage was done. I was looking at it from the point of view it should not have happened.
I liked the band very much too, and i thought that was clear in what I wrote. if not, i apologize for that, but i'm sorry, there was just some chemistry about your attitude that didn't click with me which is why I did not introduce myself--before or after your performance. i am not the only one at the club who felt it.

Subject: Letter of complaint re: Adam West's "singer"
To whom it may concern,
I had the misfortune of attending an Adam West "concert" in New York last weekend. After what can best be described as a substandard performance I was approached by one "Jake Starr", the lead "singer". I would have to say that the term "singer" is generous at best as I have heard more melody emanating from two scratched up alley cats in heat. But I digress . . .
Mr. Starr approached me and told me that during his entire performance on stage he "couldn't take his eyes off me" and was I "interested in a mutual total body massage". To say that I was surprised would be an understatement as Mr. Starr (if that is his real moniker) constantly portrays himself as a ladies man. I am still in shock about this but what came next will haunt me until my dying days . . .
Mr. Starr asked me if I would "like to come back to his S/M dungeon in DC. I believed he referred to it as the "Starr Palace" and he was "Queen Jake". He told me that he likes to dress up as the "biker from the Village People" and that he "especially enjoys feeling his 'stache snake down poles". What a twisted individual he is. People like him should not be on stage, they should be in an asylum.
There are other unpleasantries that occured but I believe that the above should suffice. I am attempting to let you know that just because a boy happens to appeal to Mr. Starr's perverted tastes and lifestyle doesn't give him the right to solicit "favors" from him.
Regards,
Lance

Subject: inexplicable behavior of one Jake "Stache" Starr
Sirs,
I too have had the misfortune of meeting one Jake Starr, singer of the seminal DC band "Adam West". Like Lance, I too have a story to share with all concerned readers.
After witnessing a great concert by the band at "Wet" here in DC I accepted an invitation for a drink with Mr Starr. Do you remember the song by the Ramones, "Somebody Put Something In My Drink"? Well, on this night the songs lyrics came true.
Approximately twenty minutes after consuming the drink Starr offered me (I believed he referred to it as his "Motion Lotion Potion") I began seeing vivid colors. The next thing I knew Starr was standing in front of me wearing nothing but a pair of hip waders and carrying a net. I asked him what the hell was going on but he just smiled wryly and said, "I am a fisher of man and I am trolling for the elusive boyfish". I mean, what the fuck????????? But wait . . .there's more:
I am sure a couple of hours had gone by by this point but I can't be sure. The next thing I knew he was standing in front of me wearing a black judge's robe open in the front. He told me that I had "been bad and that I should confess all my sins to "Hizzonner"
When I next came to Starr was wearing gladiator attire . . . you figure out the rest . . .it's all too much for me to remember.
Hey, Starr, get a grip on something other than your shriveled "mandingo."
Anybody else have a similar tale of woe????
Barry

Dear Adam West fans!
i have it on good word that Jake Starr was the second gunman in both the Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls and John Denver assasinations! when the high minister Louie F. declares his unholy war on "da booty", heretics like Starr and his group of heathens will repent!
love,
the unholy bean pie!

your so calld gitar playr, ive herd bettr sound frm a diing pig. he shud go die & giv my ears a rest.but th singer is ssssoooooo sexy i get a"sensation" evry time i hear his manhood pouring out. i get wet. all over.

hey, a. west, when are you goig to put out a GOOD cd? you say your a "rockin'" band that "rocks out", but i am still waiting. let us know when you do decide to start "rockin'".

Subject: derrick's first hate mail!
Date: Wed, 21 Jan 1998
Derrick Barrinowsky is an ugly bitch!! His mother smells like cheese, and she's so stupid she took the pepsi challange and choose jif. beefcake....BEEFCAKE!!!!! There was one time Derrick was kidnapped and molested by a group of circus freaks. He is a card carrying communist, and don't beleive him when he says he just joined for the volley ball team.
-Mike(the anti-Derrick guy)

Subject: Derrick
Yummmy....All of my friends want to sleep with him - until he wets the bed....but that's ok.

Subject: Don't take Derrick on the road!
I see you guys are playing out of town this weekend, well don't take Derrick with you, he really does wet the bed! If he doesn't have enough money with him somebody should buy some Depends for him so he doesn't lose control of his bowels on stage. Also somebody should hold on to his money because he has a tendency to spend it all on prostitutes and gummi bears and an occasional Twinkie. If he happens to develop multiple personalities, just go with it. Some of his common ones are Joe, the polesmokin' bitch, Sugar Daddy the abusive, and stupid heroin loving pimp, Elga, an overweight sweedish woman who likes to piss in public. Also, if he brings his video camera that means he wants to start making gay porn so kick him out of the trailer and let him go screw a dog somewhere before you let him back in. One last thing, he smells BAD, I mean he reeks, the dude hasn't bathed in four months, I thing he has birds, small children, and god knows what else living in that nappy hair of his.
ALOHA,
MIKE(the I hate Derrick Guy)

From former ADAM WEST guitarist James Marlowe:
Its about time you got some new stuff up. What's up Jake? Derrick has it goin on!! If you get the rest of yourselves up to speed you'll do ok. I have some cool green stetch jeans you can borrow. And some space boots that KICK ASS.
Later, James

Oh, no, it's happened again!!!!
As if having one gender misidentified sicko in this band wasn't enough now this. What is your problem, Jake Starr, having replaced James Marlowe with this kielbasa stroking lout. Oh, yes, he might be "yummy" (to put it in your words) but can he deliver the goods? What I mean is can he come up with the hot riffs that Johnny Epiphone was known for? I think not.
I also want to report an incident which occurred on the band's ill-fated tour into the heart of the confederacy. Yes, I'm talking about your "tour" into the bowels of North Carolina. When you said I could accompany the band in your "RV" down south I thought, "Great, Jake Starr has finally gotten his shit together". I found out (quite painfully, I might add) that RV didn't stand for recreational vehicle, it stood for Rectum Violators and I was Derrick's first victim.
I wanted to see the band play. Instead, I was hoodwinked into a game of strip euchre with Derrick. He promised that he would treat me "fine". For the second time a member of your unholy entourage slipped something in my drink and then tried to play a game of "Sink the ball in the backdoor pocket". What's up? Do you only recruit fresh meat through the trade mags? Can't you find anyone normal to swing the mighty meat axe? What's the REAL reason James left the band? These are questions that your fans have a right to know the answer to.
Is it really true that you only started Adam West so that you could cruise for some boytongue? Can't you seek treatment or something? Granted, you have a fine voice, but then again so would anyone who swallowed as much as you do. Get it together, bitch. Just come out and admit what you and your "merry" band of bumhuggers really are.
I expect answers!!!!
Yummy,
Chip

Subject: You're Back!!!
IM REEEAAAALLLLYYYYYY EXXXCITED THAT YOU GUYS ARE PLAYING AGAIN.
I THINK YOUR REEEAAAALLLLYYYYY HOT!!!! I MUST ADMIT THOUGH, THAT I WILL MISS JAMESSSSS. HE WAS SO HOT IN THOSE GREEN JEANS (OH WHAT A MEAN MACHINE!@!) WILL SOMEONE ELSE START WEARING THOSE IN HIS ABSENCE??? I HOPE! YOU GUYS HAVE SUCH STAGE PRESENCE!
YOUR EAGER TO PLEASE FAN THAT YOU TEASE!!
JIM RIMMY

okay, kids, are you ready to rumble? it's hogger vs. jake starr comin' at ya!

Subject: Punk?
Date: Wed, 4 Mar 1998 22:34:33 -0500 (EST)
From: hogger@mindless.com
Your band is hardly Punk enough to post in Punk. Your band is kind of glammour rock. Candysnatchers suck. Im not a fan of violent assholes. That shit gives the whole movement a bad name. And so do bands like Adam West. I saw your site. That 70s disco stuff is pretty much a laugh, dont you agree? But you guys dont seem like something to take seriously, anyway. Sorry I wont make your show(not!)
A real Punk

my response:

> Your band is hardly Punk enough to post in Punk. Your band is kind of glammour rock.

okay, first of all, how did you get "yasner?"

second of all, ADAM WEST is not a punk rock band and doesn't claim to be. at least not "punk" in the contemporary sense. we're influenced by "proto-punk" bands, if that's even the right term, like the stooges, MC5, and 60's garage punk. when people ask what "kind" of band we are, i always say "rock-n-roll."

and i don't really know what glamour rock is. do you mean "poison" and "warrant" shit. if so, you know nothing about ADAM WEST.

and finally, we're just trying to expand our audience, not redefine what "punk" means to the world.

> Candysnatchers suck. Im not a fan of violent assholes. That shit gives the whole movement a bad name.

the candy snatchers do not suck and are not assholes. and what's this so-called "movement" you're talking about? i think you've been reading too much maximum rock-n-roll.

> And so do bands like Adam West. I saw your site. That 70s disco stuff is pretty much a laugh, dont you agree? But you guys dont seem like something to take seriously, anyway. Sorry I wont make your show(not!)

we are not a "serious" band in that sense, you're right. we're not making any grandiose statements or trying to change the world. there are plenty of other bands on the planet attempting that. we're having fun and if posting to the punk newsgroup is so way out of line, then so be it.

i didn't know you were part of the thought police.

and here he goes again:

Subject: Re: Punk?Yes? NO!
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 1998 09:40:00 -0500 (EST)
From: hogger@mindless.com
> > okay, first of all, how did you get "yasner?"

Whatdoes that have to do with anything. i know people, I know whats going on. I'm not one of your wasted loser fans.

> > second of all, ADAM WEST is not a punk rock band and doesn't claim to be.i always say "rock-n-roll."

Why dont you try being original sometime. And what the hell is wrong with you? D.C. is not your kind of scene at all, then. And if you hate Fugazi so much. Fugazi is much more interesting than adumbwest.(yes i read some of your website-mostly bored by it)

> > and i don't really know what glamour rock is.

Obviously you do jocob y. STAR.

> > i didn't know you were part of the thought police.

You are so very self centered, I have to laugh- ha ha ha! You probably just eat to much red meat.

Thanks for the reply, but I still am not a fan, although if you started a good band I might give you a chance. Not to give you anything, but you have a good voice sometimes. Listen to Jawbreaker or Husker Du or the Circle Jerks. Henry Rollins has some great stuff too.
Now I have to get to work.
A Punk

and here's my latest response:

> > > okay, first of all, how did you get "yasner?"

> Whatdoes that have to do with anything. i know people, I know whats going on. I'm not one of your wasted loser fans.

i was just curious. i figured that we knew each other. if we do, do you mind telling me your name? and what's up with the "wasted loser fans" shit? do you think we're all stoners or something?

> Why dont you try being original sometime.

oh, like the 400 fugazi-wannabe bands in the DC area?

> And what the hell is wrong with you? D.C. is not your kind of scene at all, then.

you're right. i'm not a fan of any of the so-called "hip" DC music. if i didn't have a good job here, i'd move away in a heartbeat.

> And if you hate Fugazi so much. Fugazi is much more interesting than adumbwest.(yes i read some of your website-mostly bored by it)

i don't hate fugazi. in fact, quite the opposite since i own every record. i think they're one of the few bands that DOES keep it interesting. and you're so clever with "adumbwest." why do we offend you so much?

> > > and i don't really know what glamour rock is.

> Obviously you do jocob y. STAR.

jocob y. star? uh, okay. since "jake starr" has been a nickname of mine since i was in high school, i guess my using that name qualifies me for a glamour rocker. is that your argument?

> You are so very self centered, I have to laugh- ha ha ha! You probably just eat to much red meat.

yeah, that's it. i eat too much red meat. aren't YOU the one patrolling the internet for bands that cross genres and insult the integrity of punk rock? and that's not self-centered?!?

> Thanks for the reply, but I still am not a fan, although if you started a good band I might give you a chance. Not to give you anything, but you have a good voice sometimes.

i can't believe it: a veiled compliment! i don't need for everybody to like adam west or my voice. i'm not THAT egotistical. if this is what i want to do musically, why is that such a threat to you? and by the way, can i ask what songs you've heard that you're basing your decision on? and have you ever seen us live?

> Listen to Jawbreaker or Husker Du or the Circle Jerks.

i happen to like all three bands. i personally don't want to do a band like that though. i like nashville pussy and the candy snatchers and i don't want to do that shit either. btw, are you in a band?

> Henry Rollins has some great stuff too.

other than the SOA stuff and "damaged," i'm not a fan of rollins. i saw him in '87 or '88 at the 9:30 club and he was pretty good, but he doesn't do it for me.

now i think i've been fair with you and not overtly hostile (like you were in this message). you wanna continue this discussion or what?

Continued at Hate Mail Part 1!

Wanna take a shot at Jake Starr or the band? E-mail your hate to
adamwest@fandangorecs.com